She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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