My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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