The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
