Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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