i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
