so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy