small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair