And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
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i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
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Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.