Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
