it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize