You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
