God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
