at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
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He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
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Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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