I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
