I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
