Why are handjobs necessary in class?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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