Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
