I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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