I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
