Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
