YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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