When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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