Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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