Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
