Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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