I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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