weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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