I hate your face
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i think i have two assholes
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
