is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize