I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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