i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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