Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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