I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
one two three fourrrrnication!
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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