dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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