lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
