I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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