bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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