Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
