Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
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