Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize