He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
