I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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