epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
