Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
