all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
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Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
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So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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