Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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