Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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