New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
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She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
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That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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