If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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