Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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