he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
