Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
