you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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