Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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