I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
