And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
