she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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