I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Are my feet made of real feet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize